Our Virtual Classroom: EOI CS Moodle in the news

Our virtual classroom and our new website have made news in the press. You can read part of the article in today's online edition of Mediterraneo:

La EOI imparte inglés a través del aula virtual ( El Periódico Mediterraneo - 03/12/2007 )


Thank you for making this project possible!

It's quiz time, folks!

It's time to put your English to the test with some fairly easy quizzes!

First, you can try this motivating Intermediate Level grammar test (38 questions).
You should pass this one with flying colours! Your level is supposed to be much higher, isn't it?

Now, a short BBC quiz on 'Telephoning', testing vocabulary which is specific to the telephone.

Another BBC vocabulary test to complement lesson 7A in your texbook: 'Getting on a plane'

Finally, a spelling test designed for native speakers: The Commonly Confused Words Test (just click on 'Next', you don't need to sign up).

Good luck!

George Clooney opens up to Charlie Rose

Dedicated to all the ladies out there we're posting a short extract from an interview with George Clooney, where he admits to having limitations "as an actor"!

Anyway, he's already won an Oscar for his performance in "Syriana" and is considered to be a talented director. Well, I guess you can't have everytihing, can you?

Listen and enjoy!

Warmest Welcome to All Online Students!

I would like to express my welcome greetings to all online students visiting us from the EOI CS Moodle website and again to all our regular visitors who make this project meaningful.

In this blog you will find supporting resources and activities for your English lessons (levels: upper intermediate and advanced).

I advise first time visitors to browse through the blog, check out at least some of the postings and click on the posting labels according to your taste and needs. If you just want to relax, why not click on Humour and enjoy some of the skits on offer? Or hum to Homer Simpson's Beer Song! In case you need to brush up your grammar, have a go at the quizzes (click on the labels Quiz or Use of English).

You'll also find some general interest or EOI CS news, trivia quizzes, fun articles and readings, and everytihng else you suggest as we move along the course. Don't forget to check the feeds (news, weather, box office...) and links on the right column. For informal communication you can use the Chatbox. All suggestions are welcome!

See you around! (if computers don't let us down...)

Homer Simpson's Beer Song

Beer is Homer Simpson's favourite drink. Enjoy Homer's hymn to beer sung to the music of Bizet's Toreador. Good listening practice while you learn some drinking vocabulary.

Caution: Use carefully and at your own risk!

Homer Simpson (Beer Song)
Uploaded by SamanthaSpade

What is the malted liquor.(beer) What gets you drunker quicker?
What comes in bottles or in cans?(beer) Can't get enough of it,(beer)
How we really love it,(beer) Makes me think I'm a man,(beer)
I can kiss and hug it,(beer) But I'd rather chug it,(beer)
Fill my belly up to here,(beer) I could not refuse a,(beer)
I could really use a,(beer) Beer, beer, beer.

I can't remember how much I have had,
I drank a twelve pack with my dad, BURP!
That's my son the drunken manly stud,
I'm proud to be his bud, Here have some pretzels,
No! I'll call it quits, Those things give me the Schlitz!

Drink with your family, Drink it with your friends,
Drink till you're fat, Stomach distends,
Beer is liquid bread it's good for you,
We like to drink till we spew, EW
Who cares if we get fat, I'll drink to that,
As we sing once more.

What is the malted liquor, What gets you drunker quicker,
What comes in bottles or in cans (beer) Can't get enough of it,(beer)
How we really love it,(beer) Makes me think I'm a man,(beer)
I can kiss and hug it,(beer) But I'd rather chug it,(beer)
Fill my belly up to here,(beer) Golly I adore it,(beer)
Come on dammit pour it, Do it for me,
Brew it for me, Feed it to me, Speed it to me.(beer)

The most wonderful drink in the world. Hooray!!!

Welcome to the new course!

September's here again! I hope you had a great holiday and feel ready to start the new course.

Classes will be starting in just a few weeks. In the meantime, do take some time to brush up your English. For the language learner, daily practice is the best key to rapid improvement!

The goal of our blog is precisely to help you improve your English through practice and fun, and to help build up a community of English learners. Please visit our blog and feel welcome to send us any comments or suggestions!

Let's retake work with a smile. Here's a funny Dutch commercial showing one of the reasons why learning English is so important!

Imminent Summer Dinner - 5th Course

When: Friday 10th August, 9 PM
Where: ? Awaiting proposals

Please send your proposals, comments and confirmations to the blog!

Range of Activities:

The Funniest Joke In The World

Just relax, get yourself a cold drink and enjoy Monty Python at their finest in one of their sketches: "The Funniest Joke in the World". Could a joke ever be so deadly?

Voice Over : (EI) This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes. In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing. It was obvious that this joke was lethal... no one could read it and live ...
Commentator: (TJ) This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden ... violent ... comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.
Inspector: (GC) I shall enter the house and attempt to remove the joke. I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records, and also by the chanting of laments by the men of Q Division ... The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke.
Commentator: There goes a brave man. Whether he comes out alive or not, this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous and gallant acts in police history.
Voice Over: It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. Under top security, the joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War. Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
Generals: Fantastic.
Colonel: (GC) All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital. But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.
Voice Over: So, on July 8th, 1944, the joke was first told to the enemy in the Ardennes...
Commanding NCO: Tell the ... joke.
Joke Brigade: (together) Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ...Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Voice Over: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke ... and one which Hitler just couldn't match.
Voice Over: In action it was deadly.
Corporal: (TJ) Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Joke Brigade: (charging) Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ...Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Voice Over: The German casualties were appalling.
Nazi: (JC) Vott is the big joke?
Officer: (MP) I can only give you name, rank, and why did the chicken cross the road?
Nazi: That's not funny! (slaps him) I vant to know the joke.
Officer: All right. How do you make a Nazi cross?
Nazi: (momentarily fooled) I don't know ... how do you make a Nazi cross?
Officer: Tread on his corns.
Nazi: Gott in Himmel! That's not funny! Now if you don't tell me the joke, I shall hit you properly.
Officer: I can stand physical pain, you know.
Nazi: Ah ... you're no fun. All right, Otto.
Officer: Oh no - anything but that, please no, all right I'll tell you.
Nazi: Quick Otto. The typewriter.
Officer: Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Nazi: Ach! Zat iss not funny!
Officer: Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ..Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Voice Over: But at Peenemunde in the Autumn of '44, the Germans were working on a joke of their own.
German Joker: (EI) Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel über und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. 'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'.
Otto: We'll let you know.
Voice Over: But by December their joke was ready, and Hitler gave the order for the German V-Joke to be broadcast in English.
Radio: (crackly German voice) Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! Peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
Commentator (EI): In 1945 Peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.

British or American English???

You know some of the differences between the two main types of English, let's see if you can identify and remember words and expressions from both sides of the Atlantic in these easy quizzes:

Divided by Language

You Say Tomato...

English Varieties: Britain and US

British English and American English

Transatlantic Mutations

American English v. British English

The Foggiest Notion

Britspeak

British Terms

Well, easy's not always the right word. Some of the quizzes are of average difficulty for natives, either British or American. Anyway, you'll see that some of the questions are repeated in several quizzes, which will increase your chances of getting better results. Have great summer fun!

Non-native Accents of English - Part III

As we know, English is 'the' global language of communication nowadays, spoken by 1.9 billion people worldwide of which some 350 million are native speakers. Therefore, most speakers of English are non-native, with varying degrees of linguistic competence. Accordingly, the influence of native accents on English will be an important factor in understanding and communication, as most people retain traces of their native accent when speaking a foreign language. For example, most of your classmates show a clear influence of Spanish or Catalan in their English accents.

Many of you will have had problems trying to understand people speaking English with heavy foreign accents (especially on the phone!). Being familiar with the main non-native accents of English will help you in this respect. Sometimes you will also be able to detect accents and therefore origins of people!

Enjoy the last chapter of the series "World Tour of British Accents" and Mr. Seanie's rendition of world accents.


NB: If you want to go more scientific or systematic, this is the link for you, with more than 700 samples from all over the world! Speech Accent Archive

Paella party was a huge success!!!

Susana's Paella Party was a huuuuge success! The whole world is going to be jealous when they see our pics. Here are a few examples of this unforgettable day:

So many gorgeous people together!

The perfect hostess, the perfect paella...

...the perfect company. Quin bon rotllo!

Happy, beautiful faces everywhere

Making moves on the girls while poor Ferran's playing. Not fair!

Susana can even sing (Satur, you're a lucky man).
Susana and Satur, thank you for your wonderful hospitality!


There's even more! Check all the pics here.
A million thanks to Anna and Marc!

End-of-Course Celebration!

The course is finally over. The die has been cast. The grades have been given. Hopefully you've learnt a lot of English this year. That's what this is all about.

Now it's time to relax, celebrate your achievements during the course and join in the End-of-course Celebrations! Your final hurdle!

5E: Paella at Susana's
Where: At Susana's!

When: Sunday, June 17th 2007 - before 2 PM til year 2055

Motto of the Day: Who's the Cook!?



Hey, check out that pool! How about a swim?





Anyone feel like singing?
Proposals accepted!




5F: Tasques, Soparet i...
Where: Tasques - Castelló de la Plana

When: Friday, June 22nd 2007 - 9 PM til dawn

Motto of the Day: Don't Go Softly into the Night

Formal clothes required! What was that restaurant again?





Places to be seen late at night???

Contributions welcome!

Be there or be square!

Italian Cork Soakers

Let's continue with our series dedicated to accents of English and start recognizing accents influenced by foreign languages. For this purpose we shall use a skit from the American television show Saturday Night Live.

Saturday Night Live is one of the longest running television shows ever to be aired. This New York-based sketch comedy show has run since the fall of 1975. Many famous actors and actresses have starred in it: Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, Paul Shaffer, Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Martin Short, Joan Cusack, Robert Downey Jr., Dennis Miller...

In its first season, Saturday Night Live began a running gag based on the treatment of Franco's terminal illness and imminent demise by the Spanish media, announcing periodically on its news segments “Generalissimo Franco is still dead!”

In the following sketch, an Italian family of cork soakers explain in detail the art of cork soaking. Enjoy!

NB: Maybe you would like to become cork soakers yourselves!

Regional Accents of English Speakers - Part II

Now that you're familiar with the huge variation of accents in the British Isles it's time to move a step further and deal with accents of English in other countries where it is spoken as an official language.

The better news is that most non-British accents are generally easier to understand than some accents in the British Isles. Learning about these accents will also help you improve your listening comprehension, and to respect and appreciate the cultural diversity in the English-speaking world.

Enjoy now this tour of accents of world English (USA, Canada, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand...).

NB: The tour starts with Irish English and finishes with Scottish English.

Don't forget to check the links in the previous posting.
Have fun with lifelong learning!!!

Regional Accents of English Speakers

Unfortunately this course is nearing its end. Many of you are close to getting your well-deserved EOI Certificate in English.

Now I'd like you to remember what we've said so many times: learning a language is a lifelong task. Just an example: sooner or later you'll come across regional accents of English that deviate a lot from the standard British English model you're most familiar with. Don't be disappointed if sometimes you can't understand a word of what someone's saying, especially in the UK: the British Isles show a huge variation in regional accents.

The good news is that most accents can be understood with some practice. The best is yet to come! Learning to distinguish accents is not only very useful, but also fun, and helps you to respect and appreciate the diversity within a culture.

Just to get used to what may lie ahead of you, listen to this tour of accents of the British Isles (England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland). The background imagery will help you to identify and associate places with typical accents.

NB: Buckle up! The tour starts with a rendition of some Scottish accents...

If you're interested in learning more about accents, and in listening to real samples, you can check the following links:

Wikipedia: Regional accents of English speakers
The speech accent archive (contains also foreign accents of English, and recordings of other languages)
BBC: The Voices recordings
British Library: Sounds familiar? Accents and Dialects of the UK
Authentic American Pronunciation
ESL Pronunciation Work Page: American Accents

Have fun with lifelong learning!!!

Sing Along with Frankie Boy!

Relieve your exam stress by singing along with Frank Sinatra in one of his greatest hits: 'New York, New York'.

Frank Sinatra is one of the highest selling musicians of all-time and an absolute icon of the 20th Century. His influence in modern music has been monumental: "Frank Sinatra's voice is pop music history. [...] Like Presley and Dylan—the only other white male American singers since 1940 whose popularity, influence, and mythic force have been comparable—Sinatra will last indefinitely. He virtually invented modern pop song phrasing."

NB: If you wish to change the pitch of the recording to suit your vocal range, you can use music software programmes like SoundMania or Amazing Slowdowner. Don't try to sing too high or too long, or you might damage your vocal cords!

Most Underreported Story of 2006?

While we strive to improve our English, life - and death - goes on in this crazy world.

Everyday we are confronted with mounting evidence that war is seldom a solution to any international conflict. Indeed one of the most tragic consequences of the unfinished Iraq war is its enormous toll on the civil population. Critical voices claim that whereas the US media meticulously report American casualties, Iraqi losses are largely ignored and the Lancet study of the number of Iraqi deaths has been the most underreported story of the year 2006 in the United States. Moreover, estimates of Iraqi civilian deaths from 2003 to October 2006 vary between 30,000 (US government) and 655,000 (Lancet study). How and why is this possible?

Watch this controversial video and form your own opinion:

Basic Wardrobe Planning

Due to popular demand we start a new series of postings dedicated to basic wardrobe planning. Please excuse my almost total ignorance of the subject; with your leave, I shall try to do my best.

Did you know that "women wear only 10 percent of the items in their closets 90 percent of the time"? How is that possible: a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? Is there any woman out there who never said "I don't have a thing to wear!"?

What you gals need is BASIC WARDROBE PLANNING. Let's get some orientation from Mississippi State University in the following article.

NB: Sorry guys in the corner. Let's see it this way, this may help us understand better the feminine psyche.

Do Women Check Out Other Women?

Do women check out other women? Melissa Lafsky, a popular American blogger, thinks that women compete for men and therefore can't help checking out their peers all the time, and sees it as one of the 'universal rules of femaledom'. I found her article not very scientific but highly descriptive. See what you think.

Are women highly competitive by nature, is this behaviour ingrained in female genes, or is it a partly natural instinct that society has made worse?

NB: What does T&A stand for? (in 'their own [men's] ingrained T&A-gazing stupor')

Virginia Tech: The Aftermath of the Massacre

You've heard the news of the massacre in Virginia. Cho Seung-Hui, a 23-year-old student of Korean descent killed 32 people and then took his own life in the bloodiest shooting spree in modern U.S. history.

Sometimes we learn of heroism in the face of such madness. A seventy-five year old Holocaust survivor, Professor Liviu Librescu, for instance, sacrificed his life by barring the door of his classroom while at the same time exhorting his students to jump through the windows to safety below.

After the shock and the grief, there are many questions that won't go away. The following articles deal with some of the most worrying aspects of this tragedy.

What motivates such shootings? [Video] Michael Welner, M.D., a Forensic Psychiatrist for New York University discusses the psychology of a mass shooter, and what may have prompted a person to go on a rampage.

The kid who never spoke Cho's high school classmates recall 'kid who never spoke'

Internet key in probe of Va. Tech gunman Computer forensics are playing a key role in the probe of the Virginia Tech gunman, with investigators revealing he bought ammunition clips on eBay designed for one of two handguns used to kill 32 people and himself.

The Silence of Politicians There are myriad questions from the evolving tragedy at Virginia Tech. One is how such a gravely disturbed student as this killer could raise heightened concern among the authorities over a year ago, yet manage to proceed unhindered to take 32 lives. But no less pertinent is the question of how, after detailed tracking of the guns purchased for the ghastly spree, the lethal empowerment of such a troubled individual can somehow be pronounced entirely legal under the laws of a civilized nation.

ENGLISH CONVERSATION CLASSES AT THE EOI!

The long awaited conversation classes are finally here!

It is my pleasure to announce the start of the English conversation classes at the EOI CS, organized by the AEA.

WHERE AND WHEN:
- Every Wednesday from 5:00 to 7:00 PM at the “Sala de Juntes” (Meeting Room) starting April 18th.

REQUIREMENTS:
- The classes are free but the participating students are required to be members of the AEA.

TEACHER:
- Robert W. Egan from Los Angeles, California.

A Viral Ad: Volkswagen Polo - Small but tough

Viral ads have become extremely popular in the past few years. This VW-Polo advertisement is a very good example.

I'll leave you with two questions though:
- what is a viral ad?
- is this a genuine Volkswagen advertisement?

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Some more relationship lingo to learn and practice. What makes men fall in love? Yahoo expert David Zinczenko thinks he knows. Curious? Check his article. Do you agree with him?

Some quotes:
"When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love."
"[...] half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates"
"Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times."

PS: Next article will be from a woman's point of view.

How well do you know your own country?

Let's move away from difficult collocations and sociological debates and get closer to your own reality. How well do you know Spain's geography and culture? See how well you score on these quizzes designed for speakers of English.

Apart from some motivation, in them you will find useful vocabulary and structures to describe your cultural environment. It is also very interesting to see how people from other countries perceive your closer reality. Comments welcome. Good luck!

Cities of Spain Too easy!

Spain Geographically

A Grand Tour of Spain I

A Grand Tour of Spain II

It's All In Barcelona!

Spanish Food and Drink

Spanish Cuisine

Are women too aggressive?

Language is mainly a means of communication between human beings. As living in partnership - or 'family' of whatever type - is our basic cell of social organization, people spend a lot of time thinking, talking and debating about relationships. To have a good command of a language like English you need to be familiar with the language of human relationships and the expression of feelings.

Here's a controversial article on the changing nature of female/male roles and expectations: "Are Women Too Aggressive?". The article deals with American society. Do its assumptions hold true for your own society?

Some interesting quotes:
"more than 40 percent of both men and women say they spend at least two hours every day thinking about their current or potential relationships. (Scary fact: About 10 percent of us spend more than six hours every day doing so, according to a national Harris Interactive poll.)"
"...women have become increasingly financially independent, increasingly sexually liberated, and increasingly determined not to let their biological clocks dictate their relationship status."
"...few things are as attractive to a man as a woman who's unafraid to pursue the guy she's interested in."

Grammar Review Quizzes

Tired of the festivities? Ready to do some more work on your English? Don't worry, these grammar quizzes will keep you going for some time. Good luck!

Various Questions 1 Various Questions 2 Various Questions 3 Grammar & Vocabulary Test Choose the correct verb form 1 Choose the correct verb form 2 Connectors

Particles in Conversation - 1 Particles in Conversation - 2 Particles in Conversation - 3 Particles in Conversation - 4 Particles in Conversation - 5 Particles in Conversation - 6 Particles in Conversation - 7

Mr. Fawlty tries to teach Manuel

Let's move a couple steps away from the highbrow stuff of Fry & Laurie, although we're still dealing with language as a means of communication.

Learning to speak English can be stressful enough if you're working in a hotel in Torquay, now imagine what can happen if your boss is Basil Fawlty. He's got his own teaching method!

Basil Fawlty: [indicating Sybil] This, Basil's wife.[indicating himself]This, Basil. This, smack on head.[smacks Manuel on the head]

The Substance of Language, by Stephen Fry

One of my favourite British comedy series is 'A Bit of Fry & Laurie' (Hugh Laurie currently stars as the main character in the US series House). Let me share with you an excellent sketch from this series: Stephen Fry plays an English professor who delivers a witty and ironic speech on the very substance of (the English) language. Hugh Laurie plays the baffled interviewer who can hardly come to terms with Mr.Fry's dazzling display of wisdom. Among the many interesting questions: what if Hitler had spoken English?

Remember what we said about plosives in English? Please pay attention to Stephen Fry's pronunciation (repeated) of the word 'capable'.

Just enjoy: "[...] language is my whore, my mistress, my check-out girl. Language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God, language is the dew on a fresh apple, it's the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning light as you pluck from an old bookshelf a half forgotten book of erotic memoirs; language is the creak on the stair, a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, it's a half-remembered childhood birthday party, it's the warm wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl, it's cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot. "

Theatre at the EOI Auditorium!

The Up Front Theatre Company presents:

'The Portrait of Dorian Gray'

Enjoy a new version of Oscar Wilde's classic tale, enriched with music-hall entertainment and insights into Pablo Picasso's personality and work.

Volunteer extras from the audience will be kindly asked to join in some of the music-hall numbers.

Where and When:
EOI Auditorium
Wednesday 7 March 6 p.m.

Tickets: 1 € (available at the EOI Administration Office)

George Costanza's Answering Machine

Time for a smile. George Costanza (from Seinfeld) shows us how to use an answering machine to avoid unwanted calls. To start with: personalize your message, make it sound believable!

GEORGE [on tape, singing] "Believe it or not, George, isn't at home, please leave a mes-saaage at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not hooome." [beep]
JERRY George, pick up. I know you're screening for Allison.
GEORGE Hey.
JERRY So, coffee shop?
GEORGE No, I can't. She knows I go there. It's not secure. [the call waiting beeps] Hey, I got another call comin' in. I gotta let the machine get it. Bye.
GEORGE [on tape, singing] "Believe it or not, George, isn't at home, please leave a mes-saaage at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not hooome." [beep]
ALLISON George? Are you there? I hate that stupid message. I know you're avoiding me, I'm at the office, please call me, I've gotta talk to you.
GEORGE [to phone] Hi, Allison? Oh, I guess you're not at home... I probably should 've tried you at the office. Anyway, good to hear from ya, really looking forward to the ball.. [hangs up and happily chuckles] Ha ha!

More Grammar Review Quizzes

Some more easy grammar & vocabulary review quizzes to help you prepare your exams. Best of luck!

Conditionals and modals
Futures
Future hopes and plans
Word formation
Relative clauses
Past participles

Valentine's Gift: We'll Always Have Paris

As you know, Valentine's Day is celebrated on February 14. Here's my Valentine's Gift for you: one of the best love scenes ever filmed (from the movie Casablanca).

What if Ilsa had stayed with Rick? That's what many of us hope everytime we watch this movie. But sometimes love has to transcend desire...

RICK Louis, have your man go with Mr.Laszlo and take care of his luggage.
RENAULT Certainly Rick, anything you say. Find Mr. Laszlo's luggage and put it on the plane.
ORDERLY Yes, sir. This way please.
RICK If you don't mind, you fill in the names. That will make it even more official.
RENAULT You think of everything, don't you?
RICK (quietly) And the names are Mr. and Mrs. Victor Laszlo.
ILSA But why my name, Richard?
RICK Because you're getting on that plane.
ILSA (confused) I don't understand. What about you?
RICK I'm staying here with him 'til the plane gets safely away.
ILSA No, Richard, no. What has happened to you? Last night we said --
RICK -- Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then and it all adds up to one thing. You're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
ILSA (protesting) But Richard, no, I, I --
RICK -- You've got to listen to me. Do you have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louis?
RENAULT I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
ILSA You're saying this only to make me go.
RICK I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it.
ILSA No.
RICK Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.
ILSA But what about us?
RICK We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we'd lost it, until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
ILSA And I said I would never leave you.
RICK And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going you can't follow. What I've got to do you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you, kid.

Fractured Words Quiz

Are you done practising grammar? Ready for the fun stuff?

In the following quizzes the solutions (names or words belonging to a given category) have been fractured into several words of similar pronunciation. Your task is to find out the right names or words by pronouncing those fractured words into which they have been divided. For example, in the category "Astrological Signs", if the clue was "Auk Coo Airie Is", the answer would be "Aquarius". Best of luck!

Fractured Instruments
Fractured World Countries
Fractured Dictators
Fractured Disney Characters
Fractured Solo Musicians

Grammar Review Quizzes

Your first exams are around the corner and you want to be well prepared for them. These short grammar & vocabulary review quizzes will help you. Remember, we are at advanced level!

How long Verb+preposition Multiword verbs Common collocations Binomials Expressions with 'would' Uses of 'get' Prepositional phrases 1 Confusing words

Adjective and noun collocations Prepositional phrases 2 Verb and preposition agreement Phrasal verb particles Use of prepositions Expressions with 'get' 'Used to' Phrasal verbs with 'go' Verbs and prepositions

Fawlty Towers: The Kipper and the Corpse

Now you all know that running a hotel is not an easy task!

Enjoy this classic scene from The Kipper and the Corpse:
One of the guests has died in his bed during the night. Basil thinks the kippers (which should have been thrown out weeks ago) might be responsible. Basil tries to hide the kippers from the doctor; then Basil, Polly and Manuel try to hide the body in the cupboard. But things get far more complicated...


Sybil: What were you talking to him Basil, car strikes, was it? Basil: Thank you, Sybil. Dr Price:I don't understand, he's been dead for about 10 hours. Basil: Yes it's so final isn't it. Sybil: Basil! Basil: Well, wouldn't you say it was final dear, I'd say it's pretty bloody final. Dr Price: You mean to tell me you didn't realise this man was dead! Basil: Well, people don't talk that much in the morning. Look, I'm just delivering a tray, right. If the guest isn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" I don't immediately think: "Oh, there's another snuffed it in the night. Another name in the "Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance". I mean this is a hotel, not a Burma railway!
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Basil: What are you looking at me like that for? Sybil: Basil, there's a kipper sticking out of your jumper.
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Basil: Good morning, good morning. Miss Gatsby: Oh, you're very cheerful this morning, Mr Fawlty. Basil: Yes, well one of the guests has just died.
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Basil: Oh spiffing, absolutely spiffing... Two dead, twenty- five to go!
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Basil: (to Miss Tibbs) Now I've warned you about this before! You can hide in your own cupboard but not in other people's!
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Miss Tibbs: He's dead! Basil: (to the guests) Yes, it's her husband, she hasn't got over it. He died thirty years ago.
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Miss Tibbs: In the cupboard! Basil: No more today! You've had enough!

Are you a film buff?

It's time to put your film credentials to the test with these three (very) easy film quizzes. Good luck!

European Films - Quiz 1
Can You Name These Classic Movies? - Quiz 2
Best Films of the Century - Quiz 3

How good are you at trivia?

How good are you at trivia? Find out with these four (easy) quizzes in increasing level of difficulty.

Subjects: Science, Geography, Sports and Music.

General Knowledge Quiz 1
General Knowledge Quiz 2
General Knowledge Quiz 3
General Knowledge Quiz 4

Driving Test Quiz

Four out of five motorists would fail if they had to take their driving test again, a survey has revealed. How would you fare?

Would you pass your driving test (in Great Britain)?

Monty Python Job Interview

You've sent your cover letter and CV and have been invited to a job interview. You're closer to getting your dream job! Now you ask yourself how to handle a possibly difficult interview. How should you respond to tricky questions? Check this skit by Monty Python!

PS: What's the subtitled language?

Quiz time

Quiz time again!

Try first this motivating little quiz on Future Hopes and Plans.

And now, a bit of pronunciation warm-up. Check this easy Rhyming Pairs Quiz: Part 1, Part 2.

How well do you know the punctuation rules in English?
Check your knowledge with this Punctuation quiz.

Let's finish today's practice with this Grammar & Vocabulary Test.

Good luck!

Happy 2007!

A Happy New Year to all of our friends and visitors at UseYourEnglish!

We hope 2007 brings everyone health, love and harmony.

Let the fertility of your minds push your English to new heights!